Spoiled Child or Healthy Baby?

spoiled children

Parents rarely make it through their offspring’s life without hearing the negatives and positives of how they’re parenting. New parents can get in the habit of consistently letting baby manipulate them, often entirely. Attachment parenting isn’t the same as directly giving your child everything. It’s really all about creating a good balance when saying “yes” to your child and when you decide to say “no.” It really comes down to distinguishing between what your child needs and what they want.

The Difference Between Needs and Wants
Telling the difference between what your child wants, and what they need, is hard for many new parents in the beginning. In the beginning of your child’s life, a baby’s wants are a baby’s needs. When parents respond positively to the needs of their newborn baby, trust is then built between baby and parent. By building trust with your baby early on, this teaches them to accept the word “no,” later in life. If parents gain a good sense of what their children need at an early age, this lets them understand what is appropriate to say no to when their older. New parents often wonder if sleeping with their child, nursing on cue, or responding to their child’s every need will spoil them. Attachment parenting fosters eventual interdependence within a child. 

Spoiled Children Theory
During the 20th century, this idea of spoiling your child was popularized by childcare experts. They believed that parents would spoil the child if they responded all the time to their cries. The human behavior is more complicated then one would assume. When a child learns that their behavior isn’t wrong, and this “rightness” they start to feel will make them less likely to cry for attention in the future. However, children become spoiled when their parents completely forget about them, forgetting about their needs and wants.

Attachment Parenting Practice
A lot of parents confuse attachment parenting being the same as overindulging their child, and creating a dependency upon a parent thats inappropriate. An attached mother is different from all other parents because she recognizes when its appropriate to let her child struggle a little and experience a healthy amount of frustration, so her child can grow appropriately. Creating the proper balance with your parenting style will help to not hinder any development or prolong any dependency upon your child.