The Top 7 Signs That Your Kids May Be Lying

Kids Lying: Their Body Language And Words Don’t Match.

It’s usually not too hard to tell when a small child is lying. Older kids and teens can be more difficult to read. But when a person is trying to lie, they control their facial expressions and voice tone, but their unconscious mind still controls involuntary signals like body language and respiration rate. Look for when there seems to be an inconsistency with these unconscious signals and their words. “Honesty is characterized by features that are in sync with one another—so besides posture, note the fit between face, body, voice, and speech.” Look for whether the person is hiding their palms or are slouching/not sitting straight. “Like an animal avoiding detection, a liar may pull his arms and legs inward or keep his movements to a minimum—anything to appear smaller.” Other indicators of lying can include “flared nostrils, lip nibbling, deep breathing, and rapid blinking, which hint that the brain is working overtime”.

Kids Lying: Their Eye Direction Indicates Lying:

“According to NLP The direction the eye moves in reflects the function taking place inside the brain at that time. For example, looking towards the upper left side means that you are constructing an image in your mind while looking at the upper right side means that you are recalling an image… If someone looks towards the upper left when asked about something then he’s probably constructing an image of the lie he’s about to tell.”

Kids Lying: Watch For A Smile:

Liars are often pleased when they sense that they are getting away with a lie or a misdeed. This leads to something known as ‘the duping smile.’ The liar is happy they are able to successfully lie and so they often “show strange or inconsistent/inappropriate emotions while answering questions, like smiling when denying committing a serious crime.” Pay attention to any smile—an authentic smile will symmetrically incorporate both a person’s lips and eyes.

Kids Lying: Eye Contact:

While many liars avoid making eye contact, also be wary if someone is trying too hard to hold your gaze.

Kids Lying: Slow Speech:

Look for pauses, delays, and a slower talking speed that’s common when a child is making up events as they talk. Look for verbal changes like: more pauses, stuttering, an elevated pitch, and generally slower speech.

Kids Lying: They Can’t Answer The Question:

Ask the most straight-forward question about the situation. According to Forbes.com: “If a person is really innocent, they will usually deny the crime in straightforward language at the beginning of the interview. In fact, they say the most important clues come just five seconds after a question is asked… In one scenario, author Houston recounts how one of his employees at The Farm, a CIA training facility, reported to him that forty dollars was missing from her wallet, and there was only one other employee who had been in the room where she had left her purse. Houston knew that if the suspect had not taken the money, he would simply say, immediately, “I didn’t take it and I have no idea who did.” A person who is guilty will not say they are innocent in straightforward language but will often repeat the question, attack or compliment the questioner, invoke religion or swear, or use a lot of qualifiers like ‘basically’ or ‘usually’. “Liars often respond to questions with truthful statements that cast them in a favorable light;” but they don’t answer the question. “Accused people also sometimes act like they don’t understand a simple question. A great example of this came when then-President Bill Clinton appeared before the independent counsel in the Monica Lewinsky case in 1997.” So again, “look for deceptive behaviors and responses within the first five seconds of asking a question. Someone telling the truth will say immediately and plainly that they did not commit the crime.”

Kids Lying: Subject Avoidance:

A person is hiding something will avoid bringing the subject up as a first line of defense. “Try to talk about anything related to the situation without addressing it directly and see if the person tries to jump to another topic.”

Kids Lying: Inconsistencies/Additions to the Story:

Ask your child what happened at least twice. This gives you two tries to look for the above signals and provide a second benefit: when someone is lying, they are essentially making something up. This often leads to difficulty of recall because they have to remember what they said. A person who is lying often changes the story a bit every time it is discussed; look for additions or omissions.