I’ve been pretty lucky over the years with my daughter. Some of the tougher issues, like weaning your child off the pacifier, I have been able to avoid. Unfortunately, this did not apply to the tantrums. Growing up in a large family, I was able to watch different approaches to fixing this issue. Some tantrum stopping methods worked, but these 4 tantrum tactics never do.
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Never Ask Your Child Anything.
During a tantrum, just let your child finish the freak out. Asking questions like ‘what’s wrong?’ or ‘what do you want?’ in the middle of the tantrum only causes the child to either prolong the tantrum, or completely push them over the edge. Generally, I will place my daughter in her room and stand at the door until she is finished. Then we talk it out once she has cooled down.
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Don’t Bother Trying to Reason with Your Child.
A hysterical child cannot be reasoned with. For example, one morning my daughter wanted a banana at breakfast. I peeled the banana, cut it up, and gave it to her. She started throwing a fit because she wanted to peel the banana. It doesn’t matter whether or not I explain to her ‘she can’t peel it, because I already did’. The tantrum has to be over before a child will really understand anything you’re saying.
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Avoid Yelling.
At some point, I think every parent is guilty of breaking down and yelling at their child for throwing a tantrum. Unfortunately, all this does is encourage the bad behavior. Children crave both attention and reactions from their parents, even if it’s for something bad.
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Never Give an Empty Threat.
A friend of mine is notorious for the empty threat. She will constantly give the same warning to her child over and over again without following through. Unfortunately, all this teaches your child is that your word means nothing. When there is no punishment, why would they stop the bad behavior? Leave emotion out of it. Just quickly and quietly follow through with any punishments you have set; and remember to remain consistent so your child knows what will occur if they throw a tantrum.