Open thread: Let’s talk about pregnancy and infant loss

Miscarriage is such a lonely road. I could never have imagined how devastating it would be to lose a pregnancy. I think it is something no one can comprehend until you have been through it. And yet, so many of us have. I am still mystified by the cloud of secrecy that passes over this loss that so many of us have endured. I remember sitting with a group of about 10 women, all of whom I knew fairly well from church. The topic came up, and each and every one of us had experience pregnancy loss. I had no idea about most of them. Why the silent suffering?

I’ve talked a bit about how quiet I was about all of my pregnancies, and how the result was that I felt completely and utterly alone when I miscarried in secret. I hope that being open on my blog can help even one person who has suffered through this on their own. I hope that we, as women, can begin to take the taboo away from this topic and remember our children out loud.

And for all of my friends, family, and readers who have suffered loss: you are loved, and your child is honored today. I’m writing this post to create a space for you to remember your losses. 

Just Ten Weeksby Susan Erling

For just 10 weeksI had you to myself.And 10 weeks seems too short a time foryou to have changed me so profoundly. In just 10 weeksI came to know you … and to love you.You came to trust me with your life.Oh, what a life I had planned for you! Just 10 weeksThen I lost you.I lost a lifetime of hopes, plans, dreams, and aspirations.A slice of my future simply vanished overnight. Just 10 weeksIt wasn’t enough time to convince othershow special and important you were.How odd, a truly unique person has diedrecently, and no one is mourning the passing. Just 10 weeks.And no normal person would cry all nightover a tiny 10-week fetus, or get depressedand withdrawn day after endless day.No one would, so why am I? You were just 10 weeks, my little one. Youdarted in and out of my life too quickly.But it seems you only needed 10 weeks tomake my life so much richer and give me asmall glimpse of eternity